Deconstructing Pride

In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalm 10:4 (NIV)

This is a pretty solid definition of pride. But a definition is only a beginning of understanding, not the end of it. Let’s see if we can deconstruct pride a little further.

I can still remember a fiery sermon from when I was young. The preacher was very worked up about how pride is the root of all our sin, and that we have just stop being prideful. In fact, I’ve encountered many sermons, blogs posts, and books that seek to make clear that we are bad, prideful creatures who just can’t help but to puff ourselves up to be better than what we are. And it’s this pride that is at the root of all sin.

But what I’m interested in is the root of all pride.

What is behind, or underneath it? Why do we need to assert ourselves, compare ourselves, and judge others?

One word, three letters: ego – the “me” that tries to translate between my conscious and unconscious self; the part of me that my pride is trying to protect. The false self. The self that is disconnected from the Source and Essence of Love and in protest about this detachment. Richard Rohr writes extensively on this and calls it “the fortress of I.”

Within the fortress of I, the ego needs to defend, to be seen, to justify, to be understood, to ensure that no one is going to take advantage of me. What do all these things have in common? Fear.

Our need to be seen signifies our fear that we will be overlooked, which would confirm to us our fear that we are unlovable. Our need to justify or to be understood signifies our fear of being misunderstood, which would confirm to us our fear that we are unknowable. Our need to make sure that no one is taking advantage of us signifies a fear that we are going to be devalued, which would confirm to us our fear that we are not valuable.

So why go into all of this? Why get at the root of pride?

Because once we see it for what it really is – the fear of our ego which is trying to protect us - it actually becomes more manageable. Most monsters lose their power in the light. So, we bring it to light to see that pride is more than just something we should “just stop doing.” Pride is something to which we must pay attention.

In his book, Everything Belongs, Rohr writes: “The wounds to our ego are our teachers and must be welcomed. They must be paid attention to, not litigated.”

Litigation means taking an issue to court, and that is what pride does. It holds up the technicalities of the law so that it can defend, prosecute, justify, and seek acquittal. But the problem is that this courtroom metaphor just doesn’t work with Jesus.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2 (NIV)

No condemnation - this applies to the judgment we heap on ourselves as well.

This is really important to understand, because there is a direct correlation between our judgment and our pride. The more judgment we harbor, the more pride is in control. The more our ego is in control, the more judgmental we are.

If we’re still judging others or ourselves, we are still stuck in ego-mode, justifying our opinions and our very existence to God, others, and ourselves. But once we realize that there is no condemnation left for us, we see that we are free to simply observe and learn from the times that we catch our pride in action.

So, what could happen if we started paying attention to the things that prick our egos?

When I feel the need to compare myself to someone else so that I feel good about me – why is that, really? What is my ego trying to conceal? What am I really afraid of? When I feel the need to correct someone – why is that, really? What I am really afraid of? When I find myself longing to get the credit, striving to keep score, getting offended when someone else is praised – why is that, really? What am I really afraid of?

Here it is, and this is really, really important: when our ego feels wounded, it isn’t really our ego that is wounded. It’s that our ego is letting us know of a wound that is already there.

But remember what Rohr wrote about the wounds to our egos actually being teachers? You see, the moments when our pride bucks up to defend the pre-existing wounds our egos are trying to protect – that is an opportunity to see a place inside ourselves where we have not fully received the never-ending mercy and inexhaustible grace of God.

When we do, the false self can lower its weapons as the gates of the “fortress of I” open wide to an invasion of grace, ending the siege of the ego and ushering in an age of union with the Source of life, freedom, essence, and love.

Author: Benjamin NeSmith

Benjamin NeSmith has spent his life working with people. He put his social science education degree to use teaching students of all ages, including those with special needs, for over a decade. He spent years as a recording and performing musician and is now a Certified Professional Coach and Pastor at Element Church Tampa. Benjamin enjoys family time, hiking, interior design, and creating meaningful liturgical experiences for others.