Mums in the Middle of the Mess

I darted into the master bath, quickly glanced in the oversized mirror, saw something new, but had no time to really digest it. I had to be in and out. "I'll have to come back to that," I thought. These last several months since our loss have been a haze, and most things are done in robotic fashion. But, a couple days later, I was back in the master bath staring into that same mirror along with all of the clutter covering the countertops below. Nothing was unusual about that, though. 

Mad dash, madness, and messy have all become part of our norm in this season of unexpected, unrelenting grief. 

As I stood in the mirror, I was having another tough talk with one of the kids. This time, it was my eight-year-old daughter, Avielle. As I began my usual, "Honey, we have to make good choices...", I remembered the "something new" that I noticed the other day. It was a vase full of crimson mums. I never buy mums; and I never buy crimson anything. And somehow, I knew that she had been the one who placed them there.  So, I interrupted my mild scolding and asked, "Did you put those there?"

She quietly replied, "Yes." 

I realized something in that moment. The old me would have criticized, "Who would put fresh flowers in the middle of this mess? Look at this countertop! It has to be clean and clear first. No one places pretty flowers to decorate a mess!" However, in my new reality, I saw effort. I saw courage. I saw thoughtfulness. I saw someone standing in the middle of my mess, my agony, my brokenness and realizing that there's nothing that they could do to clean it up. Yet, being courageous and hopeful enough to place mums, in the midst of the clutter, just so that I could see something beautiful. A person loving me enough to dry their own tears, clear a space, and create a beautiful moment that would allow me to focus on anything other than the shambles left by life's sorrows. 

Today, my encouragement isn't to find the flowers, or silver lining in the middle of life's trials and challenges. I feel like there are enough blogs, reels, and self-help books shouting that message. Today, I implore you to acknowledge the brave and beautiful people God has placed in your path to place mums in the middle of your mess. 

Author: Keisha Wheeler

Learn more about Keisha as she leads her family on a journey of love, loss and legacy on her blog at servingwith7.com or instagram @servingwith7.